I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
