Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So here I am, sexting at work.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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