I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
