Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
babies were throwing up all over the place
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize