I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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