is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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