Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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