if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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