I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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