birth control should be required to get into college
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
