You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
