we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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