if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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