the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties