I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you