fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
