He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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