Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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