Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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