did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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