how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
