i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
