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just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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