I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
