I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
