Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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