I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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