I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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