FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
