Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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