the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
