you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
