12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
