Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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