Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
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i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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