I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
