so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
