I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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