we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Alive.
So much puke
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
