I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
