im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want to make out with him forever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
