Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
