all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
