i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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