Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
