if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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