Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
