TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
