Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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