I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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