i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
