I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
