well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
