I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
the raccoons are back...
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