Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
