id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
