Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
