she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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