Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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