VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You made out with two different species that night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
