I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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