and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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