I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
