oh god the rape fog is back!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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