This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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