somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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