people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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