Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
